In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
