I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
