I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
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