you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
