the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
