I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Small penises have feelings too.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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