do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Randomize