Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
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