now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
