Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize