I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
