It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
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