We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Randomize
