She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
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