Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
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