dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
