Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
