erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
