Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
she peed on how many people?
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
