As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Farmville is her only friend.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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