remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
