I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
