sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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