I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Randomize
