i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize