i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
