I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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