Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
