we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
His hands were made for my vagina.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
