i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
