for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
