i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
