Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Randomize
