Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
