69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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