You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
