Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
