if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
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