ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
