White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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