Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
