This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Randomize
