I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I intend to get homeless drunk
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
