we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
