pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Randomize