I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
