Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
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