My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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