That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
