so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
