Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
