i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
