this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Randomize
