the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
