the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
