May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
