I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize