Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
