do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
her facebook's as public as her vagina
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
