dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Randomize
