I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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