Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize